Peace out.

Done with Carl and all of his fucking bullshit. 

He's a coward. 

I'm leaving for the Windy City on Thursday and not coming back. 

Not eating anything. I'm drunk or high from the roof top to the parking lot. 

I started sleeping with some guy. It made me realize how selfish Carl was in bed. He never even bothered to kiss me. I don't want him back, I just want someone who loves me. I can't do that in this body. My therapist wants me to do treatment. I'm saying no. Maybe I'll just move allllll the way to Chicago. 

I'm seriously over my current life. I need something more fresh. 

Carl stood me up on all of our dates so far, lead me on for a month.. Fuck him. I don't need him. 

High on blow. Drunk on liquor. Throwing up all day. I forgot work.
Or maybe I was just too lazy to go. Or too messed up.
At least I didn't smoke today. My chest hurts. I feel elated, yet in the worst of ways, I feel disgusting. I can't help but envy the elegant. I certainly am not one of them. I am not classy when I snort cocaine. I am not one of the elite.
I'm a poor employee, I'm a poor human. Its time to turn things around. How did all of my suffering transfer itself into the most awful, painful habits. I'm fucking up, I'm fucking up, I'm fucking up.
I'm at a thousand page views with four comments. A thousand page views after a couple weeks. Come on guys. Common, guys. Let me your thoughts. Struggle with me, suffer with me, heal with me, hope with me.