Everything update

I've been sober all week. Carl and I have been getting along famously. Everything's been annoyingly happy-go-lucky. I need a little more of that angst. My car did break during a snow storm. My friend and I slid and crashed and broke the front end.i can still use it. I've been so overwhelmed with finals. I've been taking a lot of adderall and vyvanse to keep up with that and he holiday shopping. And the lack of money. I haven't been eating much. I put myself on a low calorie low fat low carb diet. If I eat anything at all. Most of my friends that take these don't eat, so I feel like it should be normal. But I don't eat and I love it. If I wasn't lying to myself, I would admit that I took it for the love of the fact that I don't eat. This worries me. At least I'm not throwing up. It's a trade off. The drug abuse, besides has been fine. No cocaine or anything. I did buy a few hits of acid in case the world ends this week. Excuses.
I promised myself I'd only do the acid if the world started going to shit. But I know I'll do it anyway. The life of a young girl tying to survive in the modern world.

And because you kittens want to know what my body looked like post recovery, I'll post that. Forgive the scandalous nature of it. I'm about 130 here

Sex.

It's been getting easier to be calm is Carl and I don't have sex. All of the meetings have really been useful. The other day he picked me up and I saw my reflection in the mirror. And it disgusted me. I've been eating very healthy. I don't know why that isn't evident. But my stomach looked so gross.
Many a people have been asking me for pictures. I'm very reluctant because I would like to maintain my anonymity. I am considering it.
One more thing; eating disorders are not something I would ever encourage. I've been getting messages saying that my blog is triggering. Please understand that that is not my intention. I do not find eating disorders glamorous. They're wretched. I'm a normal weight and have destroyed my throat, my teeth, my organs, my skin. all for what? Being five pounds less than if I hadn't been throwing up my food? I don't miss my anorexic tendencies that consumed me for seven years. But dear god, why would i turn to bulimia. I hate myself for letting it happen. Every morning I wake up my throat hurts. Eating disorders are not worth it