The first step towards my own twisted sexual sobriety

I have just been SO tired lately. I work so much(two jobs) that I never have time to sleep. Yesterday I drove all the way to wisconsin to see off my cousin before she moved away. I got up at six, drove hours and hours, had lunch with her, and drove back, went to work, and crashed to sleep.
I just returned from Carl's house. I went there after my shift. Saturday and Sunday mornings are always terrible. I was very tired. I laid on his lap while he pet my head and rubbed my back. After that, we went to dinner at his grand parents house. We stayed for a few hours, and then went back to his place. We laid on the couch finishing our movie, then I left.
I'm not saying I made any progress this quickly, but maybe recognition of the problem was enough to quickly spark it into some sort of rational conciousness for me.
Either way, I'm not sure why I was so humble, and only felt the tinsiest bit bad. It was very foreign.
It just goes to show you that when you work on a problem, you feed the solution.
Low point of the night, at my newest job, I found out that the woman I work closest to deals my drug of choice. I set up a drop off already. I'm having a really hard time figuring out how to just say no to myself. It is, after all, what helped me lose the 50 pounds right away after I got out of the hospital.