Trial period

I am fed up with my mood swings and cuttings self breaks all of the time. I'm fed up with letting myself down. So here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to go see my old team (doctor, nutritionist, therapist, psychiatrist) and get a meal plan. As mad as I will be at myself, for the next six months I'm going to monitor my recovery. I'm going to give health a little trial period. And after its all said and done if I really want to let myself get sick again, so be it.
On another note, the meetings I've been going to have made me much more capable of achieving a happier relationship. I don't feel like its one of the few things that define my worth any longer, which is nice.
I'm still using drugs and drinking, but not as often. I don't know if that'll ever stop unless I'm not around my friends. To give you guys a better idea, at this performing art school the beautiful men and women who are always tripping are the top of the school. Performing arts schools are weird. But I just happen to be one of those girls. All of our friends are either punk kids or hippie kids, either way we just want to rock out.
Our common drugs are LSD cocaine pot and heroin. I don't do heroin and neither do most of my friends. Bit it's not too uncommon. I don't to make it sound like we're always on heavy drugs; they're just for fun at parties. But in always using something even if its just pot or alcohol. Sobriety is hard at my school. Especially when you're at the top. I have no idea how my boyfriend does it.
And there's no chance I'll be quitting smoking in this six months